Over ten years ago a friend of mine decided to adopt from
Ethiopia. She did as much research as the olden days of the internet allowed
and chose a well-respected non-profit agency. Her child joined their family and all was well. So well,
that she decided to adopt again. Not long after her second child arrived,
another friend of mine started talking about adoption. I introduced her to my
friend with the two Ethiopian kids. She decided to adopt from Ethiopia and
chose to use the same agency based on my first friend’s recommendation. Her
first adoption went so well she decided to adopt again. When she was in process
with her second adoption, I decided to adopt and of course I chose the same
agency. After all, two of my good friends had really terrific experiences with
the agency. What better reference could there be?
But here’s the thing, it often takes time, sometimes a long
time, for unethical practices and fraud to come to light. Now, all these years
after my first friend adopted her first child I can say, of the five children
the three of us adopted, two had serious undisclosed health conditions, two had
fraudulent ages, one’s story of abandonment is sketchy at best, and one’s story
of how the child came to be relinquished and who the birth family was is pure
BS.
And the agency that facilitated all of this? AAI. The agency
that just announced that they are declaring bankruptcy, leaving in-country
staff unpaid, PAPs out thousands of dollars in adoption fees they paid and with
limited to no assistance to complete their adoptions, children in legal limbo,
and donors to their sponsorship program with the knowledge that their donations
have been used for agency operations and haven’t been spent on actual
sponsorships for many many months.
My friends and I aren’t idiots (we have five advanced
degrees between us) and we’re not bad people. We wanted to expand/create
families. We wanted to do that by giving children who needed a family, a
family. We were duped by people who said all the right things and made it all
look pretty, until it wasn’t. It isn’t!
Please remember, good customer service isn’t the same thing
as an ethical adoption and unless you have had a INDEPENDENT investigation that
100% verified the info the agency provided and the story hasn’t varied over
many years and many contacts with birth family, you have had original Ethiopian
documents translated by an independent source and it matches exactly what your
agency-provided translated copies said, and you have reviewed every case the
agency processed from the area and time period your child was made available
for adoption to ensure that there were not other fraudulent cases bundled in with
your child’s you should KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT ABOUT HOW ETHICAL YOUR AGENCY
IS!!!
And one other thing, talking about corruption isn't disloyal to your child. It is possible to love your child with
all your heart and at the same time deeply regret the unscrupulous filth that
brought them into your family. I know this because I do it every single day.
amen
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